I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
