Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
