I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
