If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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