I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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