Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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