I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize