I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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