Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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