this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize