plz talk dirty to me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
