Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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