my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
where are my eyebrows?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
