You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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