Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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