i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You are a genius and a whore.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
