remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
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The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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