Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
