i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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