kristin has been a bad kristin
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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