i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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