Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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