where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
