i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
