Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
