if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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