I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
