May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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