I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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