he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
