Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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