I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
