Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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