I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
