Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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