Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Can i not drive my cunt home
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
