Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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