How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
