She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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