this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
