I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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