Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize