I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
