I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
