You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
