I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
