she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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