Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
