You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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