God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
