My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
