paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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