And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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