2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
