doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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