I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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