Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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