Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
