every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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