Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
