Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
