so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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