dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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