he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
